Elephantbananas

When i grow up, i will become suction
and lazy a lad

we did that game where you ask a questtion and open a random page in a dictionary to find your answer


1. Wax the ceiling
2. Buy cheese
3. Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet
4. Repeat above until failure
5. Load Snood onto a friend’s computer
6. Sharpen your teeth
7. Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister
8. Wash behind your ears
9. Clean and polish your belly button
10. Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
11. Wash a tree
12. Flirt with an evergreen
13. Find a male
14. Mail him
15. Knight yourself and some close friends
16. Complain about your nose hurting
17. Give your cat a Mohawk
18. Purr
19. Mow your carpet
20. Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings, of course)
21. Whine
22. Play all your cds backwards
23. See if any of them say anything scary
24. Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket
25. Moo
26. Play with matches
27. Buff your cat
28. Raise professional racing llamas
29. Join debate and agree with everyone
30. Dial-a-prayer and argue
31. Read homer in the original Greek
32. Learn Greek
33. Change your mind
34. Change it back
35. Change your major
36. Ask a question
37. Answer it
38. Paint your windows
39. Flash your goldfish
40. Paint
41. Smile
42. Paint a smile
43. Shoot at a toaster
44. Apologize to it
45. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement
46. Rotate your garden…daily
47. Plant a shoe
48. Water it
49. Sweat
50. Give an ink blot test to your gerbil
51. Take apart the toaster and microwave
52. Mix and match the parts
53. Turn your TV upside down
54. Take an ant for a walk
55. Take your aunt for a walk
56. Sell dirty socks
57. Start
58. Stop
59. Dial 911and breathe heavily
60. Go to a funeral and tell jokes
61. Put lighted exit signs on all your closets
62. Carry a tune
63. Drop it, see if it breaks
64. Starch your underwear
65. Contemplate a cockroach
66. Get a bug to chase your car
67. Let him catch it
68. Start a club
69. Make everyone who joined pay dues, then call it stupid and quit
70. Wear a salad
71. Ride a loaf of bread
72. Annoy yourself
73. Get angry with yourself
74. Stop speaking to yourself
75. Kiss and make up with yourself
76. Stand on your head
77. Stand on someone else’s head
78. Learn everything there is to know about the three toed sloth
79. Laugh at teacher’s puns
80. Build a pyramid
81. Paint your teeth
82. Climb a sidewalk
83. Speak with a lisp
84. MAKE a drive in window at the dairy-queen
85. Walk on water, but DON’T get caught
86. Shave a shrub
87. Have a proton fight
88. Watch a home movie and make fun of yourself as a kid
89. Quiver
90. Learn to type with your toes
91. Recite romantic poetry to your washing machine
92. Buy the Eiffel tower
93. Mail it to a friend
94. Make them pay the postage
95. Be in the wrong place at the right time
96. Be someone special
97. Plot the overthrow of your local school board
98. Request covert assistance from the CIA
99. Factor your social security number
100. Read the 1962 Los Angeles white pages
101. Plead the fifth
102. Plead the sixth
103. Plead the 8,003rd
104. Learn to read Sanskrit
105. Learn to write Sanskrit
106. Exist… existentially of course
107. Search for buried treasure… in Idaho
108. Hot wax the bottom of your professor’s shoes
109. Print counterfeit confederate money
110. Kick a cabbage
111. Say you’re sorry
112. Take a picture
113. Put it back
114. Sand a mushroom
115. Find the heat capacity of your science professor
116. Play solitaire for cash
117. Abuse your patio furniture
118. Run for Pope
119. If you don’t win, run for God
120. If you still don’t win, run for mayor of Idaho
121. Try harder
122. Write a book about life, call it death
123. Make a quilt of used napkins
124. Revert
125. Sleep on a bed of nails
126. Don’t toss and turn
127. Think shallow thoughts
128. Drown in them
129. Have your favorite sock bronzed
130. Boil ice cream
131. Blast pop music through town
132. Carve your boyfriendgirlfriendcrushes’ initials in a marshmallow
133. Speak in acronyms
134. Drive the speed limit, in your garage
135. Make a schematic drawing of a rock
136. Become a rabid Pog fan
137. Sing the national anthem during your English final
138. Pay off the national debt, with a bad check
139. Calmly have a nervous breakdown
140. Give your goldfish a perm
141. Paint your home bright orange
142. Play tag on I5
143. Find the nearest nowhere and go there
144. Exorcize a ghost
145. Go to a cemetery and verbally abuse dead people
146. Paint stripes on a lake
147. Two words… Hot Dog
148. Explain random theories
149. Test thin ice with a pogo stick
150. Apply for a unicorn hunting license
151. Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots
152. Do a good job
153. Crawl
154. Be a side affect
155. Be a front defect
156. Play hockey with your little cousin… as the puck
157. Duck
158. Goose
159. Play duck duck goose
160. Join the army; be someone simple
161. Think like a zebra
162. Hit the deck
163. Cut the deck
164. Swab the deck
165. Put leg warmers on your furniture
166. Be number six
167. Sit
168. Stay
169. Roll over
170. Play dead
171. Shake
172. Rattle and roll
173. Be a Rock n Roll star
174. Roll stones
175. Pick up sticks
176. Play a game of giant pickup stix with pool cues
177. Be Polish
178. Be Canadian
179. Be Idahodian
180. Donate your room mate’s body to science
181. Watch the Wonder Years
182. Wonder
183. Give someone a kiss on the lips… in the middle of class… that hates you
184. Be a square root
185. Park your car with a “friend”
186. Park your car with a group of “friends”
187. Ask stupid questions
188. Answer them
189. Spew
190. Say “moist”
191. Put a stick on the sidewalk
192. Laugh when someone trips
193. Laugh REALLY REALLY hard if they break a bone
194. Solve the population problem i.e. x +2y-16x = population
195. Contribute to the population problem
196. Interview a member of the opposite sex
197. Ask embarrassing questions
198. Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
199. Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
200. Crumble
201. Crumple
202. Make up a new language
203. Use it often
204. Be stupid for a day
205. Do aerobics...in your head
206. Play cards with your swimming pool
207. Bother a sibling, profusely
208. Send your iguana to obedience school
209. Pinstripe your driveway
210. Play "Kick the fire-hydrant"
211. Chipmunk power
212. Free the oppressed toaster-ovens of America
213. Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America
214. Mug a stop sign
215. Join your local AA meetings
216. Go for a walk in the attic
217. Challenge the neighbor kid to duel
218. Find a witch
219. Burn her
220. Regress
221. Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
222. Go bow hunting for Toyotas
223. Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
224. Boldly go where no man has gone before
225. Jump back
226. Play to lose
227. Snort
228. Be a threat to the American way of life
229. Be a threat to the Northwest Tibetan way of life
230. Re-establish the Roman Empire in Wyoming
231. Have your car painted plaid
232. Found the TLO (Tomato Liberation Organization)
233. Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
234. Cockfight turnips
235. Give your grandmother a raise...and another week paid vacation
236. Sharpen your sleeping skills
237. Put out a fire
238. If you can't find one make one
239. Ionize your new chemistry professor (you took the heat capacity of the first one)
240. Make a life-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape Jell-O
241. Tree a goldfish
242. Get a college education
243. Bury your father’s dodge
244. Tell him your the dog did it
245. Catch a falling star
246. Throw it back
247. Place your cat in hyperspace
248. Again tell your dad the dog did it
249. Throw a sleepover
250. Catch it
251. Talk to people who are half asleep (What do you really think about me?”)
252. Install handicapped access to the {your favorite pathetic baseball team's} dugout
253. Provide a reason to everyone why they should love you
254. Prove once and for all that a cow can jump over the moon
255. Complain to God that Jupiter has more moons than we do
256. Blow spit bubbles
257. Become a Hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!)
258. Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes
259. Attack the annoying Microsoft-word cat with your mouse cursor
260. Have a starring contest with the aforementioned
261. Have a Weezer marathon…
262. …Then play MSI
263. Build a house on the Sims and name the people Mr. and Mrs. (crush name here)
264. Wiggle your leg
265. Smile all day for a day
266. Count to a million as fast as you can
267. Write my PNW report for me
268. Bark at your dog
269. Bark at your mom
270. Bark at people in the grocery store
271. Eat bark (tree bark)
272. Bark at the tree
273. Mark your territory
274. Go for a walk
275. Go for a run
276. Hop up and down
277. Just hop up
278. Hope
279. Send fan mail to bob hope
280. Send hate mail to bob hope (Use same name^)
281. Go to Cali and leave mail for Blink 182 at the local taco bell in San Diego
282. Talk back to the radio [play that funky music white boy…] “what kinda music?”
283. Play funky music
284. Smell EVERYTHING you come across
285. Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors
286. Unplug the phone and plug it in and unplug it and plug it in and unplug…
287. Organize your sock drawer
288. Go to a Swing dance and do the hokey-pokey
289. Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am
290. Talk to squirrels (squeaker squeaking squeakity?)
291. Love to hate
292. Hate to love
293. Give
294. Take back
295. Call yourself an Indian giver
296. Learn to play the harmonica (NOO)
297. Write a song
298. Sing it
299. Record it
300. Listen to yourself, realize you suck and throw it out
301. Make a collage of eyes taped to your wall
302. When you have people over ask them if they ever feel like they are being watched
303. Laugh
304. Snicker
305. Eat snickers
306. Eat Cadbury chocolate from Ireland
307. Make a crown
308. Wear it
309. Insist everyone calls you “Your highness”
310. Chew on a lollipop stick
311. Get all mixed up
312. Don’t know what to do
313. Put yourself back together
314. Memorize pi
315. Memorize pie
316. Eat pie
317. Get a stuffed animal that’s a lamb
318. Name it Bunny
319. Build floatation devices for rodents during monsoon season
320. Polish golf balls for a living
321. Defy gravity
322. Obey gravity
323. Yell at gravity
324. Hit some hay
325. Repent for doing that
326. Cross your legs
327. Uncross them
328. Make a Christmas wish list in July
329. Get Sonny Kobe Cook’s autograph
330. Write a poem about eyebrows
331. Make an interpretative dance to the comet song
332. Perform it in front of relatives
333. Stare at yourself
334. Stare back
335. Stare in general
336. Speak Yiddish
337. Learn to speak Yiddish
338. Go Amish
339. Recruit friends
340. Sew your own clothes
341. Learn Korean and speak back to nail ladies
342. Tell me what they are saying!
343. Play strip poker with college students
344. Ask people how to pronounce their name
345. Pick the fuzz balls off hotel blankets
346. Collect hotel blankets
347. Collect hotel keys
348. Write calligraphy messages to your friends
349. Play mental Tic-tac-toe
350. Play mental hopscotch
351. Play mental
352. Play


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